Moving PlannerCoaching

By Sarah Dixon
www.moveforwards.com

Can you make your life in France easier?

If you sometimes feel overwhelmed by life in France then it might help to know that you’re not alone. In this article, I’ll explain some of the reasons why you might be feeling like this and show you some simple ways of getting back in control and enjoying life more.

The problem

It’s pretty common to feel a bit overwhelmed by things when you’ve recently moved to a new country, especially if you don’t speak the language as fluently as your mother tongue and have lost your regular support structure of family and friends. OK, they’re still on the end of the phone or e-mail but when they’re not going through the same experiences as you it can sometimes be hard for them to fully understand and offer practical support.

Perhaps you didn’t realise how many day-to-day tasks that you could previously do with your eyes closed would now take thought and energy. Things as simple as writing a cheque now take considerable brainpower and consist of several stages: 1) Correctly translate the amount to pay; 2) Remember what to write in each blank space on the cheque; 3) Work out how to spell the amount; 4) Maintain some semblance of relationship with other person and sense of self as capable adult.

When everything’s new and you’re on an incredibly steep learning curve, it can often feel as if you’re getting nowhere. What began as a great adventure starts to become more like ongoing hard work.

Is there an alternative?

Imagine what it would be like if challenges felt manageable and exciting; you spent time exploring and enjoying your surroundings and you were appreciating the country for all the reasons you came. At the end of each week you had moved things forward, felt fit and healthy and felt the satisfaction of having settled into your new life just a little bit more.

What’s the secret?

The key to all this is to avoid generalising and think of the positive result that you want.

Avoid generalising and be specific about what you find overwhelming

If you findA yourself thinking or saying, “it’s all too much” or “everything is overwhelming” start writing down what specifically “it” is and what “everything” consists of. Generalising keeps you stuck and gives you nothing concrete to work with. Once you are clear about what you are finding overwhelming you can start to focus on what you want to change.

Be clear about what you want

We’re often very good at knowing what we don’t want in a situation but not so good at specifying what we do want. The trouble with this is that your brain has no clear and positive focus to work towards. As a result, you subconsciously concentrate on what you don’t want.

It’s the reason why so many of us have burnt our hands on a hot plate despite being told not to touch the plate by the waiter. Your brain focuses on the content and ignores the “don’t.

So, what do you want? It’s a good question to ask yourself whenever you’re stuck and feeling fed up. What’s more, the answer can help you start clarifying what you need to do to move things forward.

Break the job down into manageable chunks

Things may well take you longer in France than they did in the country you’ve moved from. Give yourself permission to take small steps. You’re much more likely to do them and you’ll reach your goal faster as a result. Then, do that task you’ve been putting off first thing in the morning. Get the blasted thing out of the way, and suddenly life will feel a lot more manageable.

Keep a record of successes and what you’ve learnt

When there’s so much going on and you’ve a lot of new things to learn, it’s easy to overlook your successes. You finish one thing and with a list as long as your arm, you move onto the next job on the list.

Instead, take some time to notice what’s working and what you’ve achieved so far.

Keep a record of everything you do that works. It doesn’t matter how small it is, the key is keeping track of your successes so that you can look back on them when you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed and need a confidence boost. Even better, sAtart jotting down what you’ve learnt as a result of the different things you do. That way, you’ll gain a lot from even the most awkward situations.

What’s next?

If you do feel a bit overwhelmed at times, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Instead, start being more specific, use some of the ideas above and you’ll find it easier to get things under control again.

Sarah Dixon works with expatriates who want more balance and order in their life. Contact her today to arrange your free 30-minute “Find your Balance” coaching session that will help you get back in control and enjoy life more.
To contact her and find more ideas and self coaching tools to help you deal with the challenges of life in France go to www.moveforwards.com and sign up for her free monthly newsletter.